Oh, Twitter. You bring out the best and then sometimes you just make me question who’s really behind some of these thoughts transformed into 140 characters. This morning, there was a topic on my timeline (follow me @KBLXKimmie) about ‘Cheating On Single Women’. This, my friends, is impossible.
The definition of being single is, well.... It’s slightly complicated isn’t it? Does being single mean you’re without any sort of romantic interest? Yes. Does it mean you sit at home every night with your sweetheart named, Xfinity OnDemand? Possibly (and hopefully you’re happy about that). Does it mean that you’re open and willing to take a chance on someone? Totally. Can being single mean that you are having the best sex of your life but aren’t in a relationship? Absolutely.
I know you might be thinking, “Whoa! Whoa! Kimmie slow down!” I could slow down if you all would slow down and then this blog wouldn’t even be needed.
Did you notice how different the concept of being single changed once the S-Word was used? Sex does change everything, doesn’t it? There are so many men and women out there that are living under the guise that a sexual relationship automatically makes them in a committed relationship. This is wrong. Sadly, a lot of these relationships start with two people who really are good for eachother but ruin everything because they don’t utilize a tool even more powerful than the one in between their thighs, communication.
Ladies, let me talk to you first. It’s a wonderful feeling to meet someone and have a desire for them. The situation gets really good when you discover that they also have an interest in you. What usually happens is, first, the numbers are exchanged. A few innocent ‘likes’ on Facebook or Instagram, perhaps a dinner date or three. The next thing you know, you can tell the world where he has a cute little birthmark on his back. This still means you’re single. Just because you don’t mind the way he snores in bed, you’re still single. Despite the fact he texts you everyday and calls you ‘Honey’, you are still single. Hold onto that thought while I speak to the men for a moment. Then I’ll bring you back into this little open discussion right here.
Gentlemen. First off, I love you. I love your ways, your clothes, your cologne, your strength, your entire purpose in life. I also love how you try to impress us. What I can’t stand about some of you is the concept that you have to lie to women. Stop dangling a carrot in front of a woman disguised as a relationship you have NO interest in being involved in. You’ve heard it time and time again, women HATE LIARS. We do. It’s a terrible habit and lies really make you ugly from the inside out. To avoid the drama and to prevent women from flipping out on you is to simply use your words. If you tell a woman that you have no interest in being exclusive or have no intention on taking the emotional responsibility of a relationship and she spazzes out on you, she’s done you a favor despite how uncomfortable those two minutes might have been. She’s letting you know, in her ways, that she isn’t what YOU want. Telling her your truth doesn’t make you a bad guy, it makes you an honest man. In time, she’ll thank you for it and you'll have dodged a lot of stress and potential drama.
Ladies, I’m going to keep it one hundred percent real. Don’t be wide open for a man you’re afraid to open up your mouth and talk to about what is happening. It’s a trip how comfortable some ladies are with sharing EVERYTHING with a man but get scared to ask him if he’s dating other women and/or having sex (hopefully safe sex) with other women out of fear of losing him. If you’re afraid of his answer, you have no reason to be with him. Let him go. You should never fear the word, ‘No.’ It won’t break you. You won’t crumble into a pile of dust if the answer is that he does not want to stop sleeping with other people. You won’t be any less talented, beautiful, caring, kind, and sweet if he tells you that he does not want to be a boyfriend. You’ll live through it.
So back to the original question. Can you cheat on a single woman? No. You can’t. Until you have a conversation to establish rules, boundaries, and expectations you’re single. Ladies and Gentlemen, have fun, be safe. Use your words and let the magic of communication lead you to where your heart desires. In closing, let me pass on these words a wise person once wrote, “To add years to your life, don’t sleep with a person you would never want to be.”
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